Summary of Today’s UK Telecoms Related April Fools News for 2026
It’s that time of year again, when at least some of the UK’s telecoms and broadband operators will be publishing industry news / press releases that are likely to be comically untrue for the sake of a good April Fools. We’ve not done one ourselves this year, but will be summarising a few of the others we’ve seen or been sent.
The first example comes from Welsh altnet Ogi (here), which playfully claims to have taken a break from rolling out full fibre broadband to launch a new Ogi Dial-up service for customers: “So, while the rest of the world races towards faster, smarter and more invisible technology, Ogi Dial-up helps people pause for a moment and enjoy the noise, the nostalgia and the unhurried pleasure of the early world wide web – after all, some things really are worth the wait” – well that’s one way of describing the horrible narrowband era 🙂 .
Meanwhile, over at business ISP Exa Networks, the company claim to have “officially upgraded our infrastructure to run on Tea … Early testing shows a direct correlation between brew strength and bandwidth” (here). Naturally they’re rolling this out across Yorkshire first.
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We’ll add more if or when they’re spotted.
Mark is a professional technology writer, IT consultant and computer engineer from Dorset (England), he also founded ISPreview in 1999 and enjoys analysing the latest telecoms and broadband developments. Find me on X (Twitter), Mastodon, Facebook, BlueSky, Threads.net and Linkedin.
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Olilo published this:
Introducing: Pay-Per-Ping™ – The Future of Fair Internet
Alright… we’ve been cooking behind the scenes and it’s finally time.
To make things more efficient (and definitely not chaotic), we’re rolling out a brand new billing model across Olilo:
⚡ £0.0001 per ping
£0.01 per packet loss event
Idle connections? Still free… we’re not monsters
—
Gamers – you may want to sit down
Network nerds – your Grafana dashboards are now financial reports
That one device constantly pinging 8.8.8.8… we see you
—
We believe this will encourage mindful bandwidth usage and really bring the community together during your upcoming bankruptcy proceedings
Billing starts today at midnight. Good luck.
(…or does it? )
In other news:
The government is banning mid-contract price rises
Virgin Media are announcing a complete overhaul of their CS
Openreach is making symmetrical speeds standard within the next year
Sky is bringing back local DVRs for Stream subscribers
All three mobile network providers have decided to combine all their masts and plan to eliminate all poor signal areas creating 100% coverage.
Cityfibre has announced a deal allowing them to reach 100% coverage by 2030.
Did I miss anything?
I Just got a return bag for my Youfibre router – which is odd as it’s the only one I have
That made me chuckle. SO I recycled the returns bag
All the major ISP have agreed that if they say they will call you back within X hours and fall to do so they will a) pay you back for your wasted time b) personally buy you a pint (or your preferred drink) at your local c) fire the people involved (out of a canon).
Well that’s Youfibre out of business.
That said they think £99 for something that can bearly get to 4Gbps is a joke
I had a call to say my speed problem was fixed. I initially hung up after saying ” yeah good one” and then they called back – it was real.
But what a day!
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