Wispa Ltd Identifies the Root Cause of Welsh Broadband Problems – Trees

Wispa Limited, an outspoken group of consultants who passionately believe Wales (UK) deserves better broadband, claims to have established the “root cause” of the country’s broadband issues. Apparently the problem is that Wales simply has too many Trees and only their “systematic removal” will solve this.

According to Wispa, the Welsh Government‘s own study found that universal broadband in Wales could boost the local economy by £2.3bn but they “simply don’t know how to do it,” said Wispa Ltd’s COO Richard Brown. At least not without falling back on BT (here).

A further investigation by Wispa has since discovered that the most “common structural occurrence” in areas where broadband has been successfully deployed are predominantly “areas that do not have a pre-pondernece of trees (both deciduous and coniferous).”

Richard Brown, COO of Wispa Limited, said:

“At wispa Limited we are hardly alone in being so frustrated by the apparent indifference that the Welsh Government has displayed in solving the rural broadband issue in Wales. NGBW (Next Generation Broadband Wales) is essentially the diversionary tactic of a Government that is either not interested or thinks it is too difficult a problem to fix.

If it takes me to get out there with a chainsaw, then I will.”

Wispa claims to be generating “sufficient funding” to begin the “removal of trees across Wales“, which is apparently designed to help encourage the Welsh Government to see beyond urban areas and take action in the rural areas. The first tree removals will then begin in Montgomeryshire. Those wishing to contribute to the tree removal fund are invited to contact Wispa Limited.

We suspect that the problems in Wales, which might not be helped by culling the local tree population, are in reality likely to run a little deeper than this. Richard Brown suggests, tongue well and truly in cheek, that the trees could then be pulped and put into use as paper for “Carwyn Jones’ [First Minister of Wales‎] determination that Wales [gains] a written constitution. It is estimated that the amount of paper that is required to pursue this folly will be roughly proportional to the success of creating paper less offices once the tree removal begins,” noted Brown. So a not entirely serious idea then.