Broadband ISP Giganet Rebrands to Pastanet as AAISP Retire IPv6
UK ISP Giganet, which is investing £250m to rollout a new gigabit-capable Fibre-to-the-Premises (FTTP) broadband network across the South of England, today claims to have rebranded itself as Pastanet after moving to replace their traditional fibre optic cabling, made from glass, with “faster” wholewheat pasta.
According to the blurb, Giganet’s clearly highly advanced research team recently discovered that a vegan-friendly innovation – wholewheat semolina-based telecommunications technology that hinges on the use of dried egg-free pasta – enabled them to “deliver data at even faster speeds thanks to the high fibre content of wholewheat spaghetti.”
The data is apparently able to “travel down the pasta at the speed of light“.
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A Spokesperson for Pastanet said:
“Similar to how a potato has been proven to generate electricity, we’ve found pasta works the same for internet data.
The glass used in traditional full fibre optics refracts light by passing data with two streams. But thankfully due to the glycogen structure of pasta, it allows us to refract light waves at 6x the speed.
Even though they’re much maligned in dieting circles, carbohydrates are proving crucial in our efforts to deliver faster internet speeds. The installation of our brand-new linguine lines has been in development for some time while our installation engineers further develop their skillsets to cope with the new technology.
We dig narrow trenches, usually in the pavement, and lay the strands of pasta into protective ducting. Once in place, we pour boiling water into the trenches to fuse the strands together with a drizzle of olive oil to stop it from sticking. It often only takes 20-30 minutes for the pasta to cool, and then residents can access our full fibre network, which we’ve affectionately dubbed ‘spaghetti junction’, whenever they feel the need for faster more reliable connection.”
Now, if at this point you still haven’t cottoned on to the fact that today is the 1st April 2022, and this is CLEARLY an April Fools by Giganet, then.. there are no words 🙂 .
UPDATE:
We’ve spotted another April Fools ISP joke, this time from Andrews and Arnold (AAISP). The provider has today declared that it intends to “retire IPv6 at the end of a 20 year trial” (here).
Adrian Kennard, MD of AAISP, said:
“We gave it our best short; even designing our own routers that supported IPv6 from scratch. But colons just don’t belong in IP addresses, and we feel there really isn’t any customer demand. We will still offer customers IPv4 at no extra charge and separately we will improve our NAT algorithms to increase IPv4 performance. And eventually, we will give IPv14 a try.”
Mark is a professional technology writer, IT consultant and computer engineer from Dorset (England), he also founded ISPreview in 1999 and enjoys analysing the latest telecoms and broadband developments. Find me on X (Twitter), Mastodon, Facebook and Linkedin.
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mmm pasta
FTTP still stands.
Fusilli To The Premise.
Where do I put my pasta code so I can see when it’s coming to me?
Pastabin?
Not for unless it’s gluten free, it makes the data go faster
Good for streaming spaghetti westerns I dare say
Is it open sauce?
Ah! Richard Dimbleby, Panorama, and spaghetti growing on trees comes to mind!
4/10 Must try harder 😉
the best april fool so far lasted well over a decade, when OR called FTTC ‘fibre broadband’. To this day many folk still believe they have fibre. Pasta may have been better…
OR didn’t call it fibre – the retail market did. Bore off.
@Alex, Chris works for B4RN – “Founder member”. It’s why they troll regularly any and all articles which contains BT. Or in this case just throwing some shade just because.
You can pretty much ignore any comment because it doesn’t add any value, obviously doesn’t have anything better to do. (Seriously, pick out pretty much any BT article and check the comments…)
“It’s why they troll regularly any and all articles which contains BT.”
“They” don’t.
Barry Forde regularly contributes in the comments section with very helpful contributions.
Unfortunately Chris just can’t help herself. It doesn’t help promote B4RN. It just makes them look childish.
I can tell this not a real ISPReview story because the headline doesn’t have “UK” in it.
I hear that they are using Gnocchia hardware for their ONTs.
I must be getting old – I increasingly find April Fools jokes rather tiresome…
It wasn’t the article that made me laugh, it was Mark managing to rickroll me
This is actually the first time I’ve ever been rickrolled! Good one 🙂
It was ruined for me by YouTube playing an as for holidays in Dubai first.
They should have ads turned off on that video 🙂
A cracking April Fool’s headline would have been ‘AAISP finally starts offering unlimited data services’ This would have got nearly everyone utterly confused
@Matt, I don’t ‘work for B4RN’ I am just a community volunteer, and I think the pot is calling the kettle? OR and BT despite what ofcom think are all part of the same company really. And they all called it fibre. And FTTC isn’t fibre. Posting that isn’t trolling. It is just reminding folk of facts. And you should check facts before you post dear chap. Anyone checking my posts will see I don’t name call or troll, I just tell it like it is.
FTTC is literally Fibre to the Cabinet. It does exactly what it says on the tin dear!
Your linkedIn suggests otherwise, as “Founder member” is above “Volunteer”
Also:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-37974267
Also: You’re writing blogs (about your MBE, Congrats) on the b4rn website. How would anyone know you “Don’t work for them” ?
Also, OR and BT split is enough to satisfy the regulator.
Also you can thank the ASA for allowing BT to call FTTC “Fibre” – because it is, as Alex has alluded to above.
So this article was a long way from the top of my list of articles most likely to trigger drama in the comments but here it is. Someone pass the popcorn.
Ah Chris…
“One of the founders of Lancashire’s unique community-built and owned “hyper-fast” fibre optic (FTTH) rural broadband network, Chris Condor, has in our exclusive interview told ISPreview.co.uk that “fibre is the only technology worth investing time, effort and money in””
…in 2012 you were billed as a “founder”.
When you took your MBE you were billed as a “Founding Member”
“In 2015 both Forde and another founding member Chris Condor were included on the Queen’s Honours list and awarded MBEs.” You seemed happy for Prince William to give you an MBE and outline you as Co-Founder.
You told Oxford Socleg you were a Co-Founder…
In 2016 you told the BBC you co-founded it…
…doesn’t sound like “just a volunteer” – you might have given yourself that status now, but you’re absolutely more involved with – at least historically and realistically now too, more than just a volunteer.
I don’t understand why it’s a problem to state your full history/affiliation but let us not pretend you’re nothing more than a general volunteer.
When you signed the form back in 2011 to setup the society that is B4RN, were you “just” a volunteer then?
There really is no problem with your affiliation but I don’t understand why you downplay it or shoot down someone that quoted you as a “founding member” – because you are.
Of course as good as what B4RN has done may be, it is hardly comparable to what Openreach does at a national level and brazenly smacking them down just for the sake of it is silly.
@Vince: There is no contradiction between being a ‘founding member’ and being a ‘volunteer’. She may have contributed to the B4RN project in an unpaid capacity. Remember, B4RN is not like a regular commercial enterprise like BT, Virgin, or others. And you may disagree with posters’ here pointing out that VDSL is not fibre broadband, but there is no need for tearing down others here on a public forum, your own link to the BBC article tells a bit of a different story here.
Okay distill it down.
Does Christine troll here? Sure.
Is she a founder of B4RN? Yup.
Does she work for B4RN on any kind of paid basis? No evidence of that.
Does she work for B4RN on an unpaid basis? Apparently so, given her LinkedIn profile.
Not sure what’s controversial here. Unpaid work is still work. When I volunteer for charities they aren’t paying me but I’m most definitely working for them when I’m volunteering.
I would assume Christine trolls here on a personal basis. We all need hobbies 🙂 It reflects poorly on her previous achievements but isn’t any indication of B4RN’s general attitude. She can write whatever she likes within the law and terms of service of the outlet. Likewise, people can respond and form opinions based on her affiliations.
Just wait until pasta prices get so high people start stealing it. /s
Just a shame that ipv6 won’t curl up and die and a better implementation emerge.
Nothing wrong with the expanded address range, the implementation is stupidly funky, clinging to ideals that ipv4 had to move away from which actually Improved ipv4 once they where removed.
The biggest drawback is the return to the notion of classfull addressing, SLAAC breaks if /64 IID is not used, while I don’t care for SLAAC that’s the only way android clients will get an address.
Point to point routed links would be a /30 in ipv4 as typically only addresses are needed and making the subnet as short as possible ensures a different router can’t try and interfere in any configured routing process, ipv6 advocated chewing a /64 for just 2 addresses the huge security implications saw them change that to /127 which matches the same classelsss notion as ipv4. It’s a limited use case where they go against advocating a maximum /64 for all subnets.
Proper PAT66 would also be useful, not everyone wants end to end comms, some of us like the idea of knowing that every outbound connection will originate from a known ip. I could throw a lb in the way to achieve the same in ipv6 that every domestic ipv4 isp router does but now I’m adding further complexity.
The amount of reinterpretation that has gone into making ipv4 suitable for use just hasn’t been applied to ipv6 as the problems have yet to be encountered due to low uptake so it’s issues have not been teased out and worked around as yet.
IPv6 expanded addressing is good, the way ipv6 is meant to be used is overly restrictive to use cases that in ipv4 have been proven to be effective and safe.
You get Gordon Ramsey coming round to install it