ISP Cuckoo Broadband Hails Launch of Scented Wi-Fi – Whiff-Fi UPDATE

Internet service provider Cuckoo today claims to have launched the “world’s first Wi-Fi-powered fragrance diffusion system” – Whiff-Fi, which is expressed as being a “stylish egg-shaped router” that also integrates a “revolutionary diffuser” and enables you to smell what you’re browsing online.

Using Cuckoo’s new Proprietary Olfactory Optimisation Technology (POOT™), the Whiff-Fi box turns a customer’s searches into scents, filling their space with over 40,000 different aromas – from lavender for deep relaxation to that nostalgic old-book smell. For example, with Whiff-Fi, shortly after a customer searches for “freshly baked cookies”, they will notice that their home begins to smell like that.

According to a recent study from the Laboratory of Olfactory Learning (LOL), 82% of people say smells can boost focus and cognitive function. Another report from the Neurosensory Productivity Lab (NPL) found that “citrus scents can improve concentration by 54%, while lavender and chamomile reduce stress by 68%.”

Whiff-Fi will be available exclusively for new and existing Cuckoo Broadband customers for 1 day on Tuesday 1st April *.

Director of Marketing, Andrew Williams, said:

“At Cuckoo, we believe the internet should be fast, fair, and – why not – fragrant. Imagine your home office smelling like success, your gaming sessions infused with the scent of victory, or your chill time wrapped in spa-like relaxation. The future of broadband is here, and it smells incredible.”

Yes, I know, this is an April Fools 🙂 . But call me silly because it actually doesn’t sound like a completely terrible idea, provided you avoid certain websites (e.g. your council’s refuse collection pages, among other more.. questionable haunts). You’d probably also want to avoid internet messaging apps involving flatulent “friends”.

The technology to automatically, affordably and accurately adapt chemical scent production, in a cost-effective way like this, doesn’t appear to exist yet. However, it does still seem like something that might become viable for home users one of these days, such as to help enhance immersion in VR or while watching movies (it’s been tried before in cinemas, although that was very bespoke).

On the other hand, we almost certainly wouldn’t advise building anything liquid based directly into a wireless router, but as a separate device.. it might work. Anyway, back to reality.

UPDATE 8:29am

Cuckoo isn’t the only ISP running an April Fools gag today, but rather than pollute the news flow with more of them, I’ll just list a few of the others down below instead. As usual, attempts at an April Fools tend to fall into two categories – ones that try to convince you of something modestly believable and others that are so ridiculous or silly as to be clearly untrue.

➤ Welsh ISP Ogi has “turned its expertise from fibre optics to flaky pastry with the launch of the Ogi Oggie” (the Welsh take on a Cornish pasty), which is available in select Cardiff locations from today, and comes with meat and vegan options, with plans for a traditional lamb and leek recipe later in the year.

“Growing up, I always dreamed of working at Greggs as a baker,” said Network Field Engineer, Sam Crichton. “Now at Ogi, I’m living my adult dream job in engineering – and getting to bring a new pasty to Cardiff today feels like I’m living that childhood dream too. It’s like having the best of both worlds!”

➤ Zzoomm claims to be launching Zzoommies — “ultrafast broadband for pets only“, which includes Catflix for endless bird videos, ZoomiesMode for late-night sprints and Paw-rental controls for responsible streaming.