April Fools – ISP BrawBand Launch New Digital Assistant, BrawBot

Full fibre broadband ISP BrawBand (HighNet) has today unveiled its new virtual “home assistant with attitude” – BrawBot. The goal of the bot is to take on monotonous computing tasks like unsubscribing from unwanted mailing lists and sending emails to people you really feel like you should keep in touch with but can’t be bothered to.

Users will be alerted when their input is required in default Scots, with the option to switch to English for customers south of the border. Too many emails, for example, will prompt a message of: “The state of your inbox is giving me the boke.” Built-in antivirus software will also alert users to the dangers of browsing dodgy websites: “Gonnae no’ dae that! That’s how you run into connection issues.”

And its built-in password manager will stop users making common errors: “You’re a pure dafty, don’t use the same password for everything!”

BrawBand spokesperson, Joe Kerr, said:

“Hey Siri, OK Google, Hi Alexa… There’s a new kid in town. BrawBand is here to show that browsing the internet should never be boring.

While existing home assistants are great at doing the technical stuff, their patter is mince. That’s why we’ve spent years honing BrawBot’s sense of humour. Its AI has been trained on transcripts of Billy Connolly, Kevin Bridges and Elaine C Smith so you’re always guaranteed a bit of sass and a chuckle.”

We think it’s pretty safe to say that this one is an April Fools 🙂 . But the irony is that we actually quite like the feature set.