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UK Government Develops TOP SECRET New Broadband Technology

Posted: 01st Apr, 2010 By: MarkJ
The UK government, which recently earned itself a strong reputation for repeatedly demonstrating an excellent knowledge and understanding of the Internet, has today exclusively revealed a brand new broadband technology known as CSqB. The previously top-secret solution to the country's ails was developed by physicists working at the Ministry of Defence (MOD), in conjunction with the British Phonographic Industry (BPI), and allegedly makes use of quantum mechanics.

CSqB was accidentally stumbled upon last year while military scientists were working hard to develop a faster, safer and more cost effective means of networking their troops in the battlefield. It solves the problem of broadband coverage by using a special piece of cable, called a q-string, and effectively abuses the rules of quantum mechanics to give it infinite reach (i.e. "how long is a piece of string?").

CSB also turned out to have many additional properties, such as the potential to completely stop online copyright infringement. It may sound strange but, according to the government, it's a far better solution than putting costly fibre optic broadband cable into the ground.

Business Secretary, Peter Mandelson, commented:

"CSqB will form a valuable part of our strategic vision for ensuring that the UK is at the leading edge of the global digital economy and Information Communication Technology (ICT). It will enable us to reach the vast majority of UK homes with a high performance network and to simultaneously stamp out copyright infringement. This revolutionary new technology will be offered free and requires no monthly fee to use, allowing even those on low-incomes to access the NEW internet."

Sadly Cup q-String Broadband (CSqB) is far too technical to demonstrate, though we have been presented with a somewhat complicated diagram to explain how it could work (CSqB Diagram). The network capacity could easily be expanded with extra communication pods (nicknamed 'cups') and several additional benefits are listed below.
* Cheap to deploy.
* Easy to use.
* Possible loss of performance over long distances.
* Protects against illicit copyright file sharing thanks to its unique anti-file transfer protocol (A-FTP), which prevents access to the Internet.
Further details are expected to be revealed by the end of this year and deployment of CSqB should start during early 2011!
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