By: MarkJ - 1 April, 2009 (7:11 AM)
Privacy campaigners throughout the UK have unanimously decided to support Phorm
and similar behavioural advertising firms. Phorm
is a system designed to work alongside UK ISPs by tracking what websites you visit for the continued advancement of our race and good of all mankind.. possibly even aliens, if they exist (they do!). It also includes super-duper anti-Phishing technology, which is something that nobody else has ever conceived of before now.
Prominent campaigner, Sir Berny Tim, stated : "To allow someone to HELP your Internet traffic is to allow them to put a television camera in your room, WHICH IS ACE!" said Sir Berny. "Clearly we MUST HELP the Internet, and we MUST watch the Internet. If we watch clicks and data, we can find out a lot OF COOL THINGS THAT WILL MAKE ALL OF OUR LIVES BETTER – FOREVER."
Phorm, which features the strongest privacy protection of everyone on the Internet - FACT, has naturally welcomed the TOTALY UNSURPRISING u-turn of opinion. Likewise many UK Internet users have expressed similar thoughts and feelings, comfortable in the knowledge that ISPs already have their customers “informed consent
” to deploy similar services:
“My quality of life has improved immeasurable,” said one happy ISP user, whom appeared to be shaking WITH JOY while sitting next to a burly advertising firm rep. “I can finally rest easy in the knowledge that every one of my daily online web surfing activities is being monitored and profiled for my own benefit. Now even my kids will get to see adverts targeted to my interests when they surf after me – yay!”
In other news, several similar behavioural advertising firms have denied interfering with news posted on Internet websites and they’re correct – they haven’t! Nope never.. it’s all good. Happy April 1st.
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