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Privacy Campaigners U-Turn and Offer Support for Phorm

By: MarkJ - 1 April, 2009 (8:11 AM) - Score: 2594 - Online Privacy

Privacy campaigners throughout the UK have unanimously decided to support Phorm and similar behavioural advertising firms. Phorm is a system designed to work alongside UK ISPs by tracking what websites you visit for the continued advancement of our race and good of all mankind.. possibly even aliens, if they exist (they do!). It also includes super-duper anti-Phishing technology, which is something that nobody else has ever conceived of before now.

Prominent campaigner, Sir Berny Tim, stated : "To allow someone to HELP your Internet traffic is to allow them to put a television camera in your room, WHICH IS ACE!" said Sir Berny. "Clearly we MUST HELP the Internet, and we MUST watch the Internet. If we watch clicks and data, we can find out a lot OF COOL THINGS THAT WILL MAKE ALL OF OUR LIVES BETTER – FOREVER."

Phorm, which features the strongest privacy protection of everyone on the Internet - FACT, has naturally welcomed the TOTALY UNSURPRISING u-turn of opinion. Likewise many UK Internet users have expressed similar thoughts and feelings, comfortable in the knowledge that ISPs already have their customers “informed consent” to deploy similar services:

“My quality of life has improved immeasurable,” said one happy ISP user, whom appeared to be shaking WITH JOY while sitting next to a burly advertising firm rep. “I can finally rest easy in the knowledge that every one of my daily online web surfing activities is being monitored and profiled for my own benefit. Now even my kids will get to see adverts targeted to my interests when they surf after me – yay!”

In other news, several similar behavioural advertising firms have denied interfering with news posted on Internet websites and they’re correct – they haven’t! Nope never.. it’s all good. Happy April 1st.

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Comments: 5

MarkJ
Posted: 1 April, 2009 - 8:55 AM
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APRIL FOOLS!

Kind of obvious laugh

Pete
Posted: 1 April, 2009 - 9:41 AM
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Excellent :D

Isn't it an April Phool?

Carrot63
Posted: 1 April, 2009 - 11:41 AM
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Had me for a tenth of a second, till I recalled that 'privacy campaigner' Simon Davies had already rolled over for some tummy tickling by Phorm.

Such a rich vein of potential material: "uk.gov gets tough with data-pimps", or "BT ditch phorm, snatch pocket money from schoolkids for extra shareholder value" or even "City of London plod develop brass ones, take on phorm".

timeless
Posted: 1 April, 2009 - 3:22 PM
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lol, it was obviously an april fool..

Andrew
Posted: 1 April, 2009 - 5:43 PM
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Oh no. How long before Kent and his ilk are referring to this tongue in cheek april fool as if it was genuine?

I can see it now; "According to ISPREVIEW, privacy campaigners have now decided to support Phorm and we welcome their change of heart in recognising the advances in privacy that our solution represents...."

blah